the emotions of parenting

I’ve started and deleted this post several times over the past day and a half. I know people want updates about Beth’s modeling adventures but I just didn’t have the ummph to write about it. Yesterday I spent the day in my jammies, being overly emotional, and glued to my phone waiting for updates from Beth while she traveled around NY. What was supposed to be a short little 2 day trip with 1 or 2 meetings has drastically changed and I’m still coming to terms with these new developments. Part of me feels tricked, sure 2 days no problem, that’s not a big deal, certainly I can handle letting her go away for 2 days. Well 2 days has changed and now she doesn’t even have a return flight. That’s great for Beth, that means everyone is loving what they’re seeing. They love it so much that she is now casting for shows for fashion week. She is doing what she wanted to do all along. Beth loves walking in runway shows, she has only done small shows in St. Louis but she really loves it. If she could actually walk in NY fashion week that would be a dream come true. That’s really what we were working towards, I just thought I would be better prepared, that I would know it was coming. I should have learned by now that everything in the modeling world is wait, wait, wait, NOW!

So now I’m feeling the same way I felt when Daniel went away to college. This is it, this is everything we raise our kids for, so they can leave the nest and be out on their own, but I didn’t know it was happening when I sent her away for a 2 day trip. She’s never going to be completely home again. She’s got NY in her blood, Columbus can’t compare to NY, no city can compare to NY. If you love being in big cities you understand and both Beth and I, do love big cities.

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4 thoughts on “the emotions of parenting

  1. Sheila, this is truly one of those times that no amount of advice from friends — & no amount of observing your friends’ kids grow up & in far away– can prepare you for. Nevertheless, we are here for you. Breathing patience and fortitude and trust into you… It came too early, this promotion into adulthood, but you have great communication w/ Beth, so you will be able to continue to nurture and nourish her. All will be well. Blessed be.

  2. Dealing with your emotions, dealing with her emotions, feeling helpless, I understand it all. The beautiful thing about college is that it’s a halfway house, halfway between being at home and being an adult on your own. Beth had leap frogged over the halfway. She still has agents looking out for her, but she doesn’t have the meal plan. I know Beth can do it and, more importantly, I know you can do it.
    You have to go to New York for fashion week though if she is in some of the shows. I want photos.

  3. You gave her the wings, and now she is going to fly! She looks amazing, and I know you are so proud of her. You can get through this…. one day at a time! Sending you love and Orchid hugs,
    Susie

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